Seduction Advice General, Traits of Modern Seducer

How To Be More Confident Article Series #2: The First Three Steps

Thanks for stopping back and checking out the second article in our series of articles about confidence, an extremely important trait of a powerful and confident man. Be sure to check out out our first article on how to be more confident for background.

There is also a section with specific program reviews of which much of the material is designed to assist you in this process of learning how to be more confident

So what are the specific steps one must take? For now let’s just focus on a few.


It’s extremely important that you expose yourself to as many situations that make you uneasy. Remember that you do not get confidence and then attempt to do challenging things, rather you do difficult things and then from those experiences you build self-esteem.

As you become more confident you can then attempt more difficult endeavors until you look, feel and act like a truly mature, masculine and confident man. To some extent you already have those attributes but like muscles that atrophy when not used, if you want to build your confidence “muscles” it’s imperative you practice regularly.

Here are specific examples: If you’re uncomfortable approaching women and starting conversations start out by starting simple conversations in cafes, malls and at the grocery story. Ross Jeffries Speed Seduction program has specific step by step information on how to accomplish this.

If you’re already comfortable with that but have trouble in a bar or night club, you would start by going to a quieter bar and starting there. The Revelations program from Venusian Arts has a ton of quality information on how to approach women in bars, parties and clubs.

I have also reviewed the program for you on the review page


One of the more interesting ideas they propose is that at the start of any evening you want to just ‘warm up’ by talking to anyone, even the bouncers to get into a talkative state.

As they say: “It is not necessarily about getting into a confident state, rather just a talkative state”. This in turn will build your confidence you will need to approach women you might be interested in. In other words, start the evening out by talking to everyone you encounter including other men just to get into a talkative state.

If you have challenges being outgoing with your immediate group of friends, you might want to consider talking about something interesting next time you see them. It could be a fun story, something you saw on the news or anything. The point is to get yourself to speak up and stand out even though it might make you uncomfortable.

If you are so shy that even saying hello to someone is difficult, you can start by going to a public place and simply asking anyone what time it is or where a store is located. Try that for an hour on a Saturday afternoon and take note of how you feel afterwards.


You might remember Mom and Dad telling you to sit up straight. Well the funny thing is that how you sit, your posture, how you walk and carry yourself actually have a lot to with your confidence.

Again you’re not going to feel confident first and then walk tall, you need to intentionally manipulate your body posture first. Try this out for a few weeks:
Walk around but remind yourself constantly to stand up straight, keep your head and chin up, your shoulders back and notice how differently you feel.

Keep in mind, It will feel awkward at first because you’re probably used to slouching forward with your head down. Doing this consistently will make you actually seem an inch or two taller. I just shared with you a way that will instantly make you an inch or two taller without having to buy any special shoes.

It’s also important to make eye contact with people you’re speaking to and keep your head, shoulders and back straight and notice how differently people will react to you. Over time your body’s physiology will actually change and you will notice yourself feeling more confident with each passing day. More on that in another article.


This may be one of the most obvious steps but often the one that less than 2% of all people who embark on a journey of change actually take. If you want to become more confident and successful with your health, wealth and relationships, you must surround yourself with people that are in alignment with that goal.

Think of it this way. If you wanted to become better at playing basketball, you would not want to just spend time with people who do yoga or play video games all day. No, you would want to hang out with basketball players working on their dribbling, shooting and rebounding skills.

These people are everywhere and chances are you know a few of them already. Now you cannot just show up one day and say “Hey, I want to hang out with you because I am trying to be more confident you seen like a confident person”.

Rather think about what you might offer to them in return that would make them want to spend time with you. In the programs I mentioned in our review section there are forums you can join where you can meet people who already are already confident. Many of them enjoy sharing their knowledge with others and teaching them as well.

Yes this may mean you have to make some tough decisions about with whom you spend time. If your current friends are not making exciting things happen in their lives, are not successful accomplished people, you might need to reconsider how much time you spend with them.

Remember like with any process of learning, it’s imperative not to be distracted by people, places and things that are not going to help you get where you want to be.

Please go back and read this last sentence again and think about it for a minute or two. You might just have one of the biggest breakthroughs in your life as it relates to becoming more confident.

Last but not least, learn to enjoy yourself in this process remember that one of the key differences between people who become extremely successful at something is their willingness to mess it up. If you’re not having fun as you learn new things and obtain new skills, you’re doing something wrong.

So whether you’re talking to women at a cafe, trying to be more outgoing with your friends or just speaking up more at the company social function, you will have moments where you feel very awkward, say or do something that seems out-of-place or just plain feel embarrassed.

That is all part of the process, you’re not going to get there without some bumps along the way. Remember with each step and with each endeavor, you will get a little closer to being that incredibly powerful, confident and successful man who exists inside of you!

For even more insight into this process, please sign up for our free newsletter and customized dating program outline.

As always, we appreciate your feedback at Modern Seducer and until next time, happy seducing!


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