How To Be More Confident – Part One
Hello and welcome to our series of articles on the topic of confidence, the first and probably most crucial characteristic of a modern seducer .
First, it is crucial to understand that nobody has a secret super “one size fits all” formula that you must follow to be more confident. In fact there are numerous resources you might want to check out. I have put together program reviews with resources to assist with the process of learning how to be more confident.
First let me address a couple of important things as it relates to learning how to be more confident in all aspects of life:
Be More Confident By Just Being Awesome!
You often hear people telling you: “You should really just be yourself”. And while to some extent this can be true, it is misleading in many ways because it does not give much incentive for improvement. In fact, it is a very incomplete idea that can result in all kinds of challenges most notably, not even being open to learning about how to be more confident much less actually doing it.
Consider replacing “just be yourself” with “just be awesome” because the truth is, you must be THE BEST you CAN be at everything you do in life!
If “being yourself” is not getting what you want out life including having confidence, an invaluable trait of a modern seducer; then it’s time to consider changing your perspective by first being open to change.
A famous quote reads “Self actualized people, (people who live life at the highest levels of success), MUST be what they can be, they MUST be what they can be”. What can you be? A truly confident, masculine and powerful seducer? Think about it.
Build Confidence By Doing Difficult Things First, Not The Other Way Around
One way to gain consistent confidence is to manage your fears and do challenging things even when you do not feel like it. In other words, you don’t get confidence first to do courageous & difficult things, rather you do the thing you’re afraid of no matter what, and then the confidence will come. That might sound strange but bear with me for a moment.
You see real self-confidence is about being detached from the outcome. Since our focus is not so much on the actual result we can attempt to do things that normally would seem to difficult or even frightening.
Like many things in life, what actually will work for us is often counter intuitive including how to gain confidence. You have to realize is that if what you have done up until now is not working, you must be open to change.
In fact, being open to change and willing to take advice on how to be more confident is a very attractive trait that all men who are masculine and seductive possess. Also for someone to really be a skillful seducer, he must be able to master his own fears.
That does not mean one does not feel the fear, rather he is able to act in the face of fear with resolve. More on that hot topic in a future post.
So, how do you do this? There are a few things that you have to keep in mind when it comes to learning how to be more confident. Here is the first: You cannot just decide you will be confident. You must work at it. If it was so simple everyone would already be that way.
George Clooney gives a great speech about this.I encourage you to take a moment to watch this scene before resuming the article:
There is NO Failure, Only a Process of Action, Learning, Analyzing and Repeating
The second but perhaps more important idea to remember is that there is no failure. Forget about that concept. In another article, I will discuss what is sometimes called a “mind meme(s)”; false ideas, beliefs and labels that society carries and spreads around like a bad virus.
Once they take hold of you, one must proactively remove them to move forward in life. Same is true for the mind meme known as “failure”. In reality there is no way that you can fail, because every so-called failure in life is actually another step closer to reaching your goal if you have the proper mindset.
How does that happen? Well, stop for a moment and try to think about it from this perspective:.
You attempt something that does not completely work out, you observe, take notes, make changes to your approach and try again repeating as many times as necessary. Learning to be more confident is a process like anything else and understanding the roadblocks to having a positive outcome is the first thing you must think about.
Try This Out Before Your Next Date
One of the best ways to overcome the failure meme is to say the following: “I will either get what I want or learn something that will help me get what I want or even better”.
Think about that for just a moment. No really, do not read further until you take a few seconds to ponder that idea. You see being in that mindset means that you always gain something out of every attempt assuming you take action.
In fact, I suggest you try saying that a few times before a date, while closing a big business deal, interviewing for a job or having an important conversation with your boss.
Getting what you want or learning something or both means you always succeed. Always succeeding builds confidence which is extremely attractive leading to more success. Again learning how to be more confident is not just about what you do rather what mindset bring to the process.